New Year, Same Mistakes

I haven’t been gaming much this year, but when I have, it’s been fun. Work has been v busy and daygame has provided a welcome distraction. At the weekend, I’ve been carefree and enjoying going out with my wing to chat to girls. I’ve been experiencing little approach anxiety. However this has led to perhaps a few more mistakes being made both in-set and with leads. Most of these mistakes I’ve seen before.

Actually, I’d award myself a B based on early January efforts.

Not being physical in set

Even an arm tap, or an accoutrement-grab would do. Better still, moving the girl a foot or so “out of the way of the crowd”, starting to make progress up the compliance ladder. My wing “David” pointed this out the other day, when I was talking to an interested girl DIRECTLY IN A SHOP ENTRANCE in Liverpool Street station. C’mon Jamie, what better excuse!! Just move her aside. So simple! Think!!

Creepy-sounding, but effective.

Not being sexual enough in set

I’ve been neglecting this via the subcomms, and more directly via the verbals. Either way, I haven’t been adopting the mindset of a guy going out to get laid. I’m too busy being social and enjoying the regular banter. In a non-hectic nightgame environment (e.g. a lounge bar), where both you and the girl are both there for the next 30+ mins, you can afford to take your foot off the gas and let time do a lot of your work. But in a short set during the day, you need to convey everything in those short few minutes! Man up and let her know you want her, Jamie!!

Being a motormouth when things are going well

I’m actually pretty good at waffling on when I’m in a social mood. Sometimes too good. Especially when she’s hooked, I’ll often chat along, leaving her far behind. I did it the other day with a Romanian girl who didn’t even speak much English. Duuurrrrrrr!! Associated: speaking off-topic and too quickly.

Not future projecting the date

I had some success last year with future-planning when I was number-closing girls. It would also serve to ground the interaction. So why the f*&k am I not doing it this year?!!

And the biggest mistake of all…

NOT FOLLOWING UP IN GOOD TIME WITH LEADS!!

This one should be criminal. FFS Jamie! Do you want to bang these girls or not!!

Sometimes I’ll tell myself to message the girl in the morning before work. Due to prolonged snoozing, I won’t find enough time: I’ll finally drag myself out of bed to shower, then dry off, get changed, and be out the door just like that. “But it’s ok” I’ll tell myself: I’ll just send a message at the office mid-morning when I get a break. That break invariably doesn’t come. At lunch I’ll nip out the office and grab some lunch in the city. However, I’ll be strolling around daydreaming and enjoying my brief freedom, without a worry in the world. I’ll even possibly get sidetracked by a YouTube charisma breakdown video or similar. Back at the office and I’ll suddenly remember: I was supposed to message Swedish Suzy, bah! Work in the afternoon is relentless and I’ll stay late to get some numbers finished. Before I know it, it’s 7.30pm and I’m stressed and beaten down from a long day at work. Leaving the office I finally fire off a quick reply, then regret it, immediately thinking of a better alternative reply. Fuck! Needless to say, the ensuing silence confirms she’s lost interest. And I’m back in Ghostville. Waaahhhh.

Anyway, mistakes aside, I’ve been doing lots of things well. And most important, I’ve been enjoying daygame. Over time, if I put in the time and am enjoying talking to new girls, the results will come.

Thanks for reading.

Jamie.

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The Beginning, Part II: Daygame Breakthrough

Part I here

Another set to nowhere

This is Part II of how I got started with daygame. I pick up from where Part I left off. To recap:

  • I’d just burned the boats (namely nightgame and online game), and was about to fully commit to daygame.
  • I’d recently returned to London, and had started a new job.
  • Abundance was low: I had no leads, no regulars, and, with the exception of a recent Bumble bang [1], I hadn’t had sex in a couple of months.
  • But I was determined to learn daygame and get good at it no matter what!

I’m not one of those people who “needs” to get laid. This might explain why I don’t put up with bitchy behaviour from girls. Or why I don’t get into relationships easily. Or why I often choose not to follow up with my +1s. It might also explain why I didn’t jump right into daygame with both feet, even after cutting off other options to get my end away. As it happened, I coaxed myself in gently, with the help of a friend and wing.

A good mate of mine, “Maximus“, who’s been daygaming in London on-and-off for a few years now, suggested winging together sometime. We’d met in early 2015, at an RSD Todd FreeTour [2], and had remained friends since. We’d taken different paths in game–I went down the nightgame and the RSD route; whereas he chose the London daygame path (and, for a time, 4 Week Natural)–but we would cross paths and check-in with each other regularly. Maximus had recently been seeing a hot Ukrainian girl who he’d met on the streets of London in 2017. I wanted in on that kind of daygame action!

Anyway, come April this year, and with his Ukrainian girl back in Kiev, Maximus invited me out to wing with him in Westfield Mall, Stratford, one rainy Saturday afternoon. This was the day I would do my first daygame approaches of this new undertaking. It also became the day I would get my first daygame number, and predictably, my first daygame flake. So nothing too momentous, but the important thing was that I was off the mark.

For the next few weeks, I’d go out with Maximus one-to-two days per week, usually at the weekend. We’d trudge along the standard London daygame route: Oxford Street–>Carnaby Street–>Piccadilly–>Leicester Square–>Covent Garden. In a typical session, we’d tend to alternate approaches and reach 10 each.

At first it felt very regimented and I was never quite at ease, probably because I was still adjusting to approaching girls during the daytime, but perhaps also because I was largely following a wing’s routine. At this stage I was also following the ‘James Tusk’ model, which was fairly direct and didn’t feel congruent to me.

A few days after approaching this air hostess, I would go on to get LMR from her. Still hurts to this day, waaaah!

However, I did get some early sexcess, and my first daygame lay came quite early on. This was going to be easy, I thought. Wrong!

I added in one or two evening sessions per week with another wing: “Am-Star”. Although the extra sessions helped build momentum and increase references, I still felt like my daygame level was way below my previous nightgame level. I didn’t seem to be fully expressing myself, or fully “letting go”: in summary, I wasn’t bringing my A-game.

Looking back, I can say that my scant results were a result of “just turning up and getting the references in”, and dogmatically following other coaches’ prescribed methods. I also seemed to be experiencing the downside of date variance (e.g. multiple LMRs, failed bounce-backs, etc), which obviously doesn’t help during spells like this!

But rather than do the sensible thing and stand back and diagnose, I just blindly increased my intensity of approaching. I would be like a robot: (1) Get into set; (2) Attempt to attract girl; (3) Attempt to number-close girl; (4) …And then get out! I ascribe this to be the reason for my lack of sexccesses over my next ~250 sets. During this period, my vibe was often very “off” [3], and I rarely wanted to be out there doing the sets. I filmed and recorded some sets with Am-Star, which exposed my many shortcomings. Watching myself back was a very humbling experience!

In summertime the daygamers were out in droves. Occasionally a wing would point out a more competent daygamer on the streets who was getting regular results, such as Thomas Crown, or Mr White [4]. I’d wonder to myself what they were doing differently. Whereas they were blogging about their +1s, I just seemed to be muddling along, stuck in a plateau.

My long-term view was that I just had to get more daytime references in, and success would inevitably follow. And so I kept on grinding, putting in about 30 forced sets per week. During this period I was starting to learn (the hard way) that vibe in daygame was everything.

From sets 70 to 320, daygame had been far from great

One evening, after I’d had yet another girl back in my bed give me LMR, I lay down exhausted and reflected. I’d been treating daygame so seriously that I’d been neglecting other areas of my life. I hadn’t contacted my family in some time, I hadn’t seen my non-game mates for months, and had been disregarding other key areas of my life. More worryingly, I’d forgotten how to have fun. I’d been focusing so much on upping my cumulative approaches that I’d laid everything else by the wayside.

Turning Point

One evening in August I planned to take a night off with Am-star. This would be the much-needed break we both needed. Instead of banging our heads against the wall getting rejected by girls, we decided to shoot some pool at a King’s Cross pool hall and then go for a pizza afterwards. This was supposed to be a complete night off, where we put game and girls to the back of our minds, and just recharge doing other things. And it seemed to be working wonders: for the first time in weeks I was laughing out loud and feeling unburdened. We weren’t even focused too much on the games of pool, instead just pranking around.

I carried my feel-good vibes with me to outside the pizza place, where we were waiting for Am-Star’s winggirl, (who was going to join us for food). Suddenly I spotted a super cute 22-year-old Brazilian walk past, and although we’d agreed this was going to be a night off, I couldn’t help but give chase and approach with my rediscovered positive energy. She had been travelling back to her nearby student accommodation. My fun and carefree approach seemed to win her over, and she was happy to join us for pizza. She turned out to be my third daygame lay and we also developed a mini, week-long romance, before she had to fly back to Brazil. Jamie had found his vibe again.

This was the jump-start I needed, and a big turning point in my daygame journey. Soon after this, I was opening far more organically, and I no longer felt dread or fear when heading out for daygame. I was having fun with my game again and treating it less like a gym session. I was even starting to do (and relish doing) entire solo sessions.

I scrapped some of the prescribed methods I’d been adopting from certain YouTube instructors, and I reverted back to doing what had been working for me for years. I began to trust and take more responsibility in my own style and system. I was going back to what had gotten me results during nightgame the years before, discarding the daygame elements which felt incongruent to me: things like the front-stop, the directness, etc.

Right around this time, Todd (now Todd V, after parting ways with RSD), had just released a new product: The System. I gorged on this, and absorbed all the new theory, and infield. I re-incorporated a lot of his teachings into my own game, such as his aloof style, his disqualification techniques, and many of his lines and frames. I then dug out his old products, and spent time revisiting those parts I really identified with, once again incorporating these into my game [5].

I was also really warming to Bradicus‘s carefree and normal-guy style of game. When Am-Star got a SDL one harmless Tuesday evening after work (using Todd- and Bradicus-style methods), I was convinced this was the direction I wanted my game to go in.

August onwards, my daygame experience just kept getting better and better. From that point, I can’t remember a single daygame session where I was downbeat. I finally took 100% ownership, and realised that I didn’t have to change my earlier style much at all in order to meet and attract girls during the day. Another, and probably bigger, realisation I had: vibe management is everything!! My results went from strength to strength for the last few months of the year. I was often venturing out in the evening for dusk-game, practically prowling the streets for sex. I was eagerly-anticipating every session, finding any excuse to go out, usually solo. I was becoming a daygame “degenerate”.

When not solo, I was winging with Mr S, who I’d met later in the year at a Tom Torero meetup. I was really enjoying our sessions together and, although our styles differed, Mr S’s similar desire to learn and improve, along with his positive vibe and attitude, helped inspire me to take even more action. I was back in the game.

Towards the end of the year, it finally felt like I was achieving my goal: to sustainably meet, attract (and have sex with!) girls during the daytime [6].

As always, thanks for reading!

Jamie.

[1] And with a 6, I’m reluctant to add–who had deceived me with old photos. Upon meeting her, I considered aborting the date for all of five seconds…and then my raging horniness prevailed.

[2] This was a great few days of gaming theory from Todd. Two days after the FreeTour, I attended the 10-hr-long $300 Todd Hotseat event at the Hilton Tower Bridge. Wow–such a valuable event: locked in a room, watching raw, unedited infield footage from Todd, who meticulously broke down every step. I scribbled down notes furiously, and turned it into a 12 page pdf doc, which formed the foundations of my style of game, much of what I still employ today.

[3] During these weeks, wings observed and remarked upon my infamous “disdain face”–which I’d fail to conceal when leaving sets where the girl was unavailable. Grumpy Jamie.

[4] I can now put a face to the name of many London daygame bloggers. But I’m still yet to identify the lay machine himself: Mr Roy Walker.

[5] Things like framing myself as the prize, disqualifying a lot, and full two-minute monologues, where I spell out (and encourage) both the desired behaviour I want from her, and the underlying desired frame for our interaction.

[6] Actually, many of my opens towards the end of the year were during those golden hours after sunset, when the interactions seem to take a more sexual undertone.

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The Beginning, Part I: Daygame Avoidance

I’m obsessed. And have been for some time. By girls. By the sexual marketplace. By what girls respond to. By the guys who get the girls (no homo). By becoming more attractive in a girl’s eyes. By leading a girl to my loins. By it all.

I used to be pretty average with girls: kissing the odd girl in the playground at school. Losing my virginity at 17. Two LTRs: one in my uni years and one when I was 24. The occasional hook-up when on a boozy night out. But never getting with the hottest girls in the group. I was the leaf in the wind, and didn’t consider that I had much of a say in the girl department.

Then in 2011, at the I-should-know-better age of 26, and with a laycount of 10, I stumbled across The Game (I just checked my Amazon orders history to confirm the year – shit, time flies!). From there, I moved on to absorbing Heartiste and Krauser blogs religiously, learning the theory. When on boozy nights out with uni and college mates, I’d approach girls, and even convert a 6 or a 7 every now and then.

I still haven’t read The Power of Eye Contact

Throughout 2013 and 2014 I began to ramp up the approaches in clubs at weekends, albeit while still drinking. I began to see less of my non-game mates, and more of my PUA/game mates. I was binge-watching RSD vids (and anything else game-related), attending RSD HotSeats, FreeTours, and meeting other PUAs. Before I knew it, I was up to 50 notches without really breaking a sweat. But I still wasn’t having it away with the hotties–not by any stretch of the imagination.

Then came the game-changer (heh). Mid-2015 I moved into a two-bedroom flat in Zone 1 of London with a guy I’d met from the RSD Inner Circle London Facebook group–let’s call him Mr A. When I met Mr A, I was taken aback my his intensity. This was one serious-about-self-improvement Mofo. He was Tim Ferriss on heat. And he also liked to approach a lot of girls. Sober. Not only in the clubs either, but also… DURING THE DAY.

Anyway, to keep it brief for now [1], living with Mr A really made me step up my nightgame. My excuses and rationalisations had to take a back seat and–during the nighttime at least–I fully committed. I went from incidentally approaching five girls a night (booze-assisted), to proactively approaching about 20 while sober. It was a great year, and the nine lays from Vegas, Helsinki, and Stockholm trips took me to over 20 lays for the year that we were living together. Still no approaches in the daylight though.

Ok, I admit it. I miss nightgame.

As 2017 came to a close, I realised I had been consistently getting 15-20 new lays per year [2] through hitting the clubs at weekends. I’d even broken the century barrier. But something didn’t feel right… I still hadn’t scored a proper daygame lay.

So roll on Spring 2018, and I decided to commit. I burned the boats. No more clubs. Tinder wasn’t allowed either. I made a vow that I would either meet and seduce girls during the day, or have no sex life at all. To make matters worse, I was at ground zero, coming off the back of a 15-month unemployed stint (albeit voluntary). I had no solid roots and I was living in a box room in a run-down council estate in East London. I was feeling introverted and anti-social as hell, but it was time to face my daygame demons.

So, welcome to my blog. Here I’ll be recounting salacious stories from my first eight months of daygame, musing on related game topics, and keeping you a-breast (heh) of my current indiscretions and scandals.

Jamie.

[1] In the future, I plan to do a deep-dive of just how influential Mr A was for me.

[2] Not all of them were 10s 😉

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