Lay Report: Spanish Slow-Play

More Mediterranean-looking.

Some girls just seem to get it. And it’s your job to not fuck it up. Their self-esteem is high enough, and they’re social savvy enough, to not really need to shit-test. If you demonstrate you’re intrinsically high value enough, and you stick the course, they’ll be up for it. If you’re not, it’s no problem: a smile and a goodbye. They can spot chinks in the armour a mile off, without having to probe and rattle. Anything too obvious or gamey, and you’ll betray your social ineptness. I’ve made these mistakes in the past with these girls, where I’ve often failed from overgaming and doing too much.

Anyway, the Saturday before last, I met a girl who fitted this exact archetype.

Opening outside of central

I was out with my wing “David” and we’d started around 2pm. We both wanted to get some January approaching done, but didn’t fancy central London. So we met to do a session around Angel, King’s Cross, and Shoreditch. Turns out there’s some decent female foot traffic in these areas too.

David was taking a bunch of action as always, jumping into difficult sets, and approaching the hottest girls without a second’s delay. This included opening a hot, high-status English girl in the queue at Starbucks with onlookers around him. A naturally awkward social situation. Which reminds me, I must listen to his audio of that one (he was recording with his dictaphone at the time).

I didn’t want to get left behind, but that wasn’t going to happen. I was feeling motivated, and had no qualms about saying hello to members of the fairer sex. Walking back down from Upper Street towards Angel, and turning into Angel Central [1], I spotted a young, Mediterranean-looking, dressed-down brunette with long hair and olive skin. She didn’t exude sex appeal in a pornstar way, but she did stir something inside me in a girl-next-door way. She was hot, slim, and smiled warmly as I opened.

Francesca turned out to be an easy-going, but shrewd, Catalan girl, who was easy to vibe with. However, she was independent and decisive–she wasn’t going to be walkover. She seemed very socially savvy for her age, yet didn’t question being approached during the day. She was very feminine and conversation was light and carefree. I mostly maintained regular conversation while looking deep into her soul and subcommunicating my true intentions. She told me she was an au pair, and was on a gap year before uni. Surface level dialogue with underlying sexual energy. A few minutes after opening, she had to go, but not before I took her number.

Francesca was warm over WhatsApp the next couple of days and seemed interested. She suggested a Sunday afternoon beer the upcoming weekend, and I suggested we do it near mine (I’d already seeded in set that I live nearby). Everything going smoothly so far. Signs were pointing towards a good opportunity for a first new notch of 2019.

Fortunately there are still girls who don’t ghost me on WhatsApp

The Day 2: Sunday just gone

Up until Sunday afternoon I’d been having a very lazy weekend. I was burnt out from a brutal week at work, and on Friday night had let my hair down till the early hours doing my first nightgame session in over a year. Over the course of Saturday and Sunday, I’d been mostly sleeping in my blacked-out room, reading Dilbert comic books (my guilty pleasure), and nipping out the house for chocolate and other comfort food runs. However I did manage two approaches whilst out and about, although they were both insta-blow outs.

Last-minute planning.

But a big challenge of game is to be able to turn it on when it’s game time, and so walking across to the date, I NLP-ed myself into a sexual and sociable mood, and did a few vocal warm-up exercises en route.

When we met she seemed a bit more abrupt than before, and we kissed on the cheek perfunctorily, neither investing too much. It was bloody freezing though. She wore a coat and scarf, but even with that on, I can discern a youthful and slim body beneath. It’s cold and I usher her to venue one.

In the first bar, she agrees to my drink choice and suggestion of a G&T (good sign). We sit side by side on a bench at a table. She drops her handbag between us, and keeps a fair amount of distance.

It’s only 5pm and I learn that I have a while with her. Perfect. No rush, I say to myself. So far, she seems just my type, so no need to push this one too hard. Enter comfort talk and chit-chat.

I learn a bit more about her background. She’s only 18, yet she’s very independent. Her family are back in Barcelona, and while she’s hoping to go to a top Arts University in the autumn, she’s now working as an au pair and part-time Spanish teacher in London.

Nothing more too noteworthy at venue one, apart from the fact that she smokes socially, and at one stage she nips outside to have one. At her request, I join her. Later on in the date, I choose not to.

Across the street in venue two, we switch it up and order beers. I decide to subtly give her the option to pay and, as I appear distracted, waiting… waiting… waiting… as the waitress tells us how much we owe. With no movement from her, I eventually cave and nonchalantly look up from my stupor and pay the bill. I really should have been more ballsy with this. Either way, I acted convincingly enough that she doesn’t realise I was attempting a sneaky move.

When getting round two in with some girls in the past, I’ve said in my most off-hand and relaxed way possible: “you’re ok to get this one, yeah?” and attempted to act very blasé. Perhaps surprisingly, it’s worked both times I’ve done it, and with no fuss. Michael Sartain, who hangs out with, and dates, some of the most objectively hot girls on the planet, even talks about how important getting investment from a girl is. Although logic and common sense suggest otherwise, he says that even with the supermodels, her investment (not necessarily monetary) is one of the biggest things that will help you. I guess getting investment from her can be explained by the Ben Franklin effect, the sunk cost fallacy, and commitment and consistency (from Cialdini)–where she’ll likely rationalise why she invested in something.

Michael Sartain and entourage.

What did appear to work out well was when, ten minutes after sitting down with our beers, she suggested getting nachos and I said “yeah if you wanna grab some I can help you with those“. So I let her order, and then made my way through most of them. They were relatively expensive for an au pair who earns nada, and they also turned out to be really shitty nachos [2].

At this stage we also learned a bit more about each other. I liked Francesca. She wasn’t born with a silver spoon and she was a nice hot girl. Francesca seemed to have social gears, where she could be very socially switched-on and “proper” around some people (growing up with older brothers and sisters probably helped this), but I could also tell there was a promiscuous girl who would come out to play, when with others. Although she seemed studious, liked to hike in the countryside, and wasn’t yet addicted to Instgram [3], she did have her belly button pierced and alluded to a few sexual escapades when prompted. The eye contact was also very on.

I told her about me, with the aide of a few stories. I tapped into previous experiences with Spanish girls, and talked about ex-girlfriends who were Spanish and where they lived, as well as where I’ve travelled in Spain. Throughout the date I also sprinkled in a few Spanish phrases (that 99% of Brits wouldn’t know).

For some reason, I hadn’t yet ramped up the explicit sexuality (verbal or physical) of the interaction. Or used the “we” frame (I keep neglecting this, bah!). Not even via the unofficial questions game we were loosely running throughout, either. She also seemed to fit more of the European blueprint rather than American/UK blueprint [4], as expected given her geography I guess! So for her, the big attraction spikes didn’t seem necessary, and felt like they would’ve been incongruent. However, I was realising that this would likely have to be a three-venue date if it was going to be a smooth pull. We could have done more drinks there at venue two, but I wanted to baby-step the journey back to mine, covering half the distance now.

So after one hour or so at venue two, we made our way to venue three. I was sure to seed that we were going to my local pub, that it was “on the way to mine“, and that I was tempted to take her “on a little adventure” later, but that “I’m still not sure“.

Venue three has good lighting and is usually more conducive to seduction. However, this Sunday evening in January it was deserted and so it felt like we were the focus of the bargirl’s attention. We were hardly an anonymous couple on a secret rendezvous. Anyway, we got our drinks and sat together on a bench behind a table looking out across the empty room. Actually there was one other couple there, also on a first date. But the guy didn’t seem to know game, and she definitely “wasn’t my cup of tea”, so I soon became disinterested and stopped eavesdropping.

Venue Three. And almost as empty.

With my focus on Francesca, I realised there was still work to do. I started to sexualise more verbally, and we were soon sharing naughty stories with each other. I was gently encouraging her to open up, and she seemed fine discussing sexual topics. Turns out she’s had quite the sexual history so far, being with as many as ten boys (I’m extrapolating here, but it has to be around that number), as well as having a long-term boyfriend up until October. The sex life of a hot 18 year old…

In terms of her viewing you as a potential sexual partner, I think that with some girls you can just imply you’ve been with a lot of girls and that sex is a normal thing that cool guys and cool girls (like you and her) do. And rather than judge, they will realise you’re “part of the in-group”. Nothing obvious and explicit, or try-hard, though–it can be a very fine line. And then the sex can just happen. However, with some more chaste girls this will not work–e.g. the superficial Made in Chelsea-type girl who recently walked out on a date with me soon after I broached the subject of sex (her loss 😉 )

Although the topic of conversational was favourable, and the subcomms were strong throughout, she didn’t seem totally relaxed with the kino: when I took her hand in mine, she seemed awkward and overly conscious of it. So I made sure to drop it soon the couple of times I tried. I also left it unmentioned and soon said something unrelated to get her mind off of it. If I don’t address the misstep, then the misstep didn’t happen. She was also still sitting some distance away.

However, at this crucial point in the date, rather than risk losing any social capital with a failed kiss attempt (or anything similar), I decided to trust I’d done enough work and after 50 minutes at venue three I suggested the bounce back–with disqualification (I said something about her not staying long because I had to wake up early). She didn’t immediately jump at the idea, but, after a similar disqualifier of her own, she was on board. She rolled a cigarette and we left.

At mine I grab us a beer each from the fridge and after a few minutes of chat in the kitchen, we move to my room. She hasn’t yet removed her shoes. But neither have I. With slighter bigger-than-normal exaggerated motions, I conspicuously remove my shoes in front of her and she realises and then follows suit with hers. Great. She nips to the loo. I’m at my standing desk, picking music to play on YouTube. I stand waiting there as she returns from the loo. She joins me, standing next to me only centimetres away (there are no seats in the room). After a while I just turn my head from the screen, we hold eye contact, and we kiss. Boom. Praise the Lord! If I’m feeling the tension after this lonnnnnng a wait, then surely she is too.

From there I still slow-play, and disengage, chat, and then go back in for a kiss a few times. Since she doesn’t seem completely horny, and she’s not moaning or anything just yet, I don’t want to trigger any unwanted inhibitions of hers.

I’ve been experimenting with my anti-LMR tactics lately. Still a small sample size, but results are looking good so far. I haven’t been doing my old trick of transferring my own horniness onto her with heavy-handed escalation. As it happens, I’ve been doing the opposite: taking it very slowly and trying to get her to lead and initiate some steps. Even with some added commentary too, which I pinched from the step-sister porn I’ve been watching for the last year or so [5]! So it’s been very slow-going, almost like how I imagine it would be for two curious-yet-“straight” girls fooling around for the first time [6] (actually I’ve watched bisexual girls in isolation on a date before and can confirm that they escalate verrrrry slowly, but then every step is all-the-more intimate to them).

Anyway, wow–what a body. The tight waist I’d already guessed by the low BMI. But the ass and the breasts are curvier and fuller than her winter layers suggested. The sex is great and afterwards we spoon and comfort-talk [7]. Then I send her on her way. She takes it all in her stride, goes off with a smile on her face, and doesn’t even want walking to the station–it’s no big deal to her.

So with this one I played it very patiently and got basically no resistance at all. Possibly this was because I took it so slowly… but it could just have been because she was DTF anyway. I’ll never know for sure. What I’d love to do is run another simulation of this date in a parallel Universe where I pull her back right away–and see whether that strategy works out or not. Maybe there was more than one way to skin this cat.

As always, thanks for reading.


[1] The smallest shopping mall known to man. There’s only ever capacity for one hot girl at any one time.

[2] They appeared to be a packet of Doritos emptied into a cereal bowl, with some grated cheese thrown on top. That’ll £10 please, young lady!

[3] Hallelujah!

[4] Todd V does a great job of highlighting the general differences between European and American/UK girls here.

[5] Knew it would come in handy one day. As things are really heating up, I’ve been saying things like “This is so naughty, we shouldn’t be doing this… But then again… it feels so gooood” :DDD

[6] I should point out here that I’m not a lesbian.

[7] And arrange to go to Harmony at her suggestion to buy sex toys.

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  1. Great job again man. It’s interesting, along with your 2018 results post, it looks like you do well with Mediterranean girls. After all these years in game I still don’t have the Spanish or Italian flag! They really don’t like me.

    I just find them all over the place and flakey. Spanish really are the worst.

    1. Thanks Mr White. Sounds like you’re too busy picking up Bahrain flags to worry about the everyday ones 😉

      But yeah I definitely seem to do better with Mediterranean girls. Maybe there’s the exotic tug at work (working in both directions). I look quite Northern European, eg blonde, no beard.

      Looking forward to reading your +1 write-up!

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