Lay Report: Fancy a Kickabout in the Park?

I’d be lying if I said she was this hot.

The Approach

  • I met Natalie in mid-January with Dav in Islington on Upper Street. The same day I met Spanish slow-play girl.
  • 5-feet-7, slim body, cute face
  • Irish, outwardly confident, and 23 years young
  • A very banterous conversation. I remember her being a very active verbal participant who was trying hard to be funny–a big green flag
  • She was on the way to work in a health food café. After 3 mins, I took the number and let her go so she wouldn’t miss her shift
  • However… I was slightly put off by a mole just to the left of her nose, which at the time appeared to be a dodgy colour. Possibly for this reason, I didn’t follow up. *Hangs head in shame*

Valentine’s Day: Message Out of the Blue

If only every girl messaged first
  • One month later, on Valentine’s Day itself, I received an SMS from an unknown number out of the blue
  • Huge IOI obv
  • I racked my brain to remember who she was, eventually roughly remembered
  • From then on: slow but consistent frequency of messaging, all positive
  • I gradually came around to the idea that a small mole can be overlooked for a girl this keen–plus if I approached her that means she must be attractive enough, mole-aside 😉

The Day 2

  • I got her to come to Angel tube one Monday night
  • Due to her time restrictions, she arrived at 9.30pm
  • Took her to standard bar/pub on the High Street
  • Immediately it became apparent she was an extravert who had lots of guy friends
  • It would be easy to read lots of false positives into such a girl rabbiting on, with lots of beta bait tests
  • She told me she has a skateboard and is a tomboy
  • But very socially savvy–I bet she often has to out-manoeuvres beta guys creeping on her
  • Apparently her sister is the introverted one with her head always in a book; whereas she’s the rough-and-tumble one. They’re polar opposites. At some points facing the barrage of words coming from her mouth, I wish I was with the sister 😉
  • Good promiscuity signs: She told me of a small tattoo on her back; she also drank wine fast and wasn’t afraid to order a round
  • I stayed alert enough in conversation to interject and frame control when needed. I challenged her a lot, otherwise could’ve easily been run over
  • However, given she was Little Miss Chatterbox, I didn’t have enough time to “work my magic”, or really let enough sexual tension build
  • I let her escape to get the last tube. This didn’t seem negotiable with tomorrow’s plans.
  • Status at this point was: (1) early kino checked off, (2) no kiss attempt, (3) vague pull intentions hinted at… (4) but no pull attempt executed
Like this but more body

Texting after Day 2–Do I Fancy a Kickabout?

  • Continued messaging most days after the Day 2
  • She suggested a “kickabout” in the park on Sunday morning before she headed to work. Wow, there’s a first. Tomboy confirmed
  • I laughed to myself and thought “actually, why not?“; it was different from the norm, it could be good practise for filler dates, plus it’s an excuse to get physical
  • Unfortunately on the Sunday morning she flaked–she said she was hungover. No football date after all, waaahh
  • Instead we set up a proper Day 3 the following Friday
“Fancy a kick about?” Ermmm…

The Day 3

  • Following the flake, she suggested meeting in Angel on the Friday for a comedy night at a local pub–a big green light to go for the pull that night since she’s arranging the date in my neighbourhood
  • I obviously wasn’t enthused about the comedy but, according to the website, the comedy started at 8pm, so I figured we could be done with it early
  • We arrived at the pub at 7.45pm; unfortunately tickets were only left for the later 9.15pm showing
  • She was intent on still watching the 9.15pm showing, even after my objections. So I compromised and said we’d sneak out after the first act or if we weren’t laughing enough
  • We grabbed a drink in the pub in the meantime
  • I found out she had to wake up at 6am the next morning, to work the breakfast shift at the café. Because of this, she hinted at needing to get the last tube later on
  • At this point I told myself to step it up a gear, escalating much quicker, and leading conversation way more. Time to switch to closer mode, Jamie!
  • From this point forth I was uber-aware that the window of opportunity was closing, and I’d have to hurry things along more than I’d normally like to
  • I figured if we stayed and watched the full comedy, the pull would be very unlikely. The last tube seemed like a condition I’d have to work with, rather than an objection I could sidestep
  • At 9.15pm she didn’t forget about the comedy (I wasn’t going to mention it; I hoped she’d forget!). So we went upstairs to find our seats
  • In the small auditorium I made sure we sat at the end of an aisle near the door!
  • At 10pm I pulled her out of the comedy in the dark. We ducked our heads and squeezed out past people standing behind
  • I led her to a different pub near mine: final venue
  • I decided to go for the kiss to make clear my intentions with this girl. She probably has lots of guys pussyfooting around
  • Success! We kissed here, although it wasn’t the smoothest–when I decided to go for it, we didn’t start off with our faces very close to each other. However, it worked well enough and no objection from her
  • Shortly after this, I pulled her back to mine. It was now before 11pm. I still had the last tube in the back of my mind
  • No LMR in the bedroom, but as she was casually taking her clothes off she did mention we had to be quick, with the last tube looming. Ha, this made me laugh! I also thanked God I’d hurried things along and executed
  • So apparently sex is no big deal to her if she likes the dude and he doesn’t friend-zone himself. Bet a lot of guys in her social circle are stuck in the friend-zone
  • She had a great little body, albeit not a naturally curvy one–turns out she studied sports science and nutrition at uni and is even qualified as a personal trainer
  • Post sex interview: she said she was only aware that sex was actually gonna happen at the final venue (when I made explicit about going back to mine).
  • During sex she enjoyed playing with my gooch A LOT. When I enquired as to why she was so fixated on it, she said that her gay flatmate gave her tips that guys like this. Good studying Natalie, have an “A” for effort!
  • After the deed was done, good vibes and joking
  • And then, within an hour of getting back to mine, she soon got dressed and hurried off to make her way home. Great girl!

Thanks for reading.


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  1. “So apparently sex is no big deal to her”, where can I find girls like that?

    Haha. Good for reading the time constraints and changing your kiss close approach to show your intentions, some next level courtship strategy right there 😀

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